I never realized how hard it would be to be a father. I always wanted to be one, partly because of the fact I didn't have one growing up. But I can tell you now that being a good father in the 21st century is very difficult.
I want so many things for my family, and I want to provide so many things for my family through financial means. I don't want to rely on others for my income and survival. But everything takes time. Time spent every day working so I can pay the bills, time spent every day attempting to develop some passive/residual income streams so that I don't have to spend so much time working. Personal space and personal time also comes into play. Marriage is another thing that takes time. Then there is personal time with my children. Lest I forget (and let's be honest, I forget a lot!), there is also a need for spiritual time - daily time in devotion or study of God's word.
So how am I supposed to fit all of these activities into a 24 hour day? I'm supposed to sleep too, but sometimes that comes in limited quantities. I used to survive on 4 to 6 hours of sleep because I was partying all the time. Now I survive on 4 to 6 hours of sleep because I am always working on another project, another job, another website, etc. So where does it all end?
I simply don't know how to balance all of these things in my life. Fatherhood, after 7 years, is still a mystery to me. Slowly, I feel that I am losing my influence over my children. Is there any way to get it back? I don't know, but I'm sure going to try ...